lovely diacritic?


That UK Flag T-shirt
23 February, 2010, 10:37 pm
Filed under: Autobiography, Religion | Tags: ,

I was attending The Edge conference and was staying over at my childhood’s friend’s place since it is nearby. So I brought along only a few clothes for that short stay. On the 3rd day of conference while I was preparing to leave the house, I changed into this top that has the flag of UK. (An example of the shirt can be seen below. Grabbed from google images) So while i was taking out this shirt from my luggage, the thought strike me, “you are going to see someone wearing this shirt today.” I was like… okay… weird…. and whatever.

At the edge conference, it was Matthew Barnette speaking. I think he was speaking about your destiny that God called you to pursue. During ministry time he got the whole congregation to go up for ministry. so everyone went. He said stuff during ministry like “someone’s going to US… someone’s going to this place… someone’s going to be…” The day before, also during ministry, he did the same thing by getting everyone down to the altar. He said “someone’s going to South Africa to set up a business.” I was like yeah that’s me man. So cool. Set up business in S. Africa… That’s definitely me since I’m from SMU. Singapore MANAGEMENT Uni. So he was repeating these words again at the ministry. So this time the altar call about destiny, I went up thinking, “yes i know God, You called me to family counseling already. (It’s another testimony how God called me to be a Family Counselor) I know my destiny. But here I am, expecting to hear what more You wanna say.” Again Barnette was saying “someone’s going to be a pastor. someone’s going to South Africa.” “I was like yah… that’s me, you said it yesterday. I know.” Then after he said someone’s going to South Africa, he said “someone’s going to Australia.” As soon as I heard that, I cried. I just couldn’t stop crying. I was like what’s wrong with me??! It’s just a word Australia.

Then while I was crying, everything else blur out. Barnette’s voice blurred out, my awareness of people around me blurred out. So I started looking around the hall. Then I saw, the girl with a white UK print top! I was like okay…. “i knew that.” and “freaky!” After i came back to “awareness”, Barnette challenged people to walk up to the stage to declare what they heard God speaking. He pointed in several directions that he feels someone has heard God spoke. One of the directions was in my direction. I felt like he was pointing at me. I felt this tugging to go up but I was hesitant because there were about 100++ people infront of me! So jam packed. Had loads of “what ifs” in my head. What if I squeeze through the 100+ people and by the time i reach there ministry is over. What if all these are just emotions, i’m just crying for fun and it isn’t God speaking. etc. After several people went up, he closed the time and ended the service. I realised that NO ONE from my direction, NO ONE from the 100+ people infront went up to declare! The ones who went up were from all different parts of the congregation except mine.

Later on in the afternoon, we were sitting in an afternoon workshop. I wanted to tell people about what I experienced at ministry. The person I wanted to tell first was my brother since it’s just me that I need to tell things to my family first. But I was afraid like what if isn’t God and it’s just me crying for fun at the ministry. So during the workshop, while taking notes, sitting beside my brother, I started to draw Australia flag. I was carrying a multi colour pen so I could fill in the colours too.

Strangely, I couldn’t draw the top left hand corner of the flag! I just didn’t know what was inside. So i asked my brother, what’s in that corner. He was like dont know. That’s weird because he’s a pro at flags. When he was younger he had a chart of flags and their names and he even can draw the weirdest flag like saudi arabia. Now is just australia flag like how could he not know?! So oh well. forgot about it, didn’t tell anyone.

When i reached home i eagerly searched on google. The top left hand corner was actually…

UK flag. The same UK flag on the top i wore at the altar. The same UK flag top I saw the girl wearing.

Too much coincidences I thought. But i was still like, NO. This isn’t from God. I was telling Him, God i want you to show me from the scripture that “you are going Australia.” Obviously that’s impossible. Instead He gave me the word from Deuteronomy 7. The whole chapter spoke to me.

zooming in to v7
The LORD did not set His love on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least of all peoples;

I really felt inadequate to be called in the area of family counseling because I do not have the most perfect family in the world to be able go out there and counsel other people’s family. But this verse simply encourages me sooo much.¬†And the rest of the verses, v12 – 26, is about blessings of obedience.

So i was like okay, i know it’s from You God.

Few days later then came Youth Camp.

The first night Jeremy Seaward message was about True freedom. During altar call, he gave an opportunity for people to DECLARE WHAT DESTINY GOD IS CALLING. I was like, “oh man… not again?! i’m totally not saying. NOT SAYING!!! blah blah blah blah.” (acting like a child trying to block out the naggings of its parents) then after a few people declared, i was like ok. looks like You want me to declare huh. Like declaring is to make a statement so that my destiny isn’t just a moment of encounter. By declaring it’s like making a promise that you will pursue it. Okay then. Do or die. So I just sayed “Family Counselling. Australia.” After the session Shalyn said she got the strength to declare her destiny was because she felt soooo much strength from me when I said that. I didn’t even realise. That was really encouraging to hear.

So for now I’m still waiting on the Lord because I don’t know when am i going Australia. For how long am i going Australia. and for what purpose am i going Australia for. But it’s been an exciting journey to see what God has installed for me! ūüôā I’m so in awe to see how the Holy Spirit, the Word and God work together in my life.



The wonders of language
22 August, 2009, 10:58 pm
Filed under: Autobiography, Language | Tags:

While my mum was watching the news just now, I had my back to the TV and I suddenly turned around and exclaimed “cheese!” when I heard an Italia interviewee saying “formaggio”, which means cheese in Italian. My mum was like “Ya… cheese. That’s what they have been saying in the news. ru lao.”

And I said, “Oh, I didn’t know ru lao is cheese in Mandarin.”

Sigh, 19 years of education in Mandarin, 6 months of education in Italian.

The amazing thing is, I didn’t even force myself to memorise the Italian vocabulary that I was taught yet a picture of cheese popped into my head as soon as I heard “formaggio”.

Somehow learning language isn’t taught, but caught.

The wonders of language.



(bah)
25 May, 2009, 11:41 pm
Filed under: Autobiography, Religion, Technology | Tags:

Type that in MSN messenger and you get an emoticon of a sheep. It is on my peronal message now and it reminds me of the song “Shepherd of my Soul”. It was a song during last Sunday’s worship and I was truly¬†ministered. It reminds me to be submissive and to follow wherever God may lead me.

 

Shepherd of my soul I give you full control,
Wherever You may lead I will follow.
I have made the choice to listen for Your voice,
Wherever You may lead I will go.

Be it in a quiet pasture or by a gentle stream,
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side.
Should I face a mighty mountain or a valley dark and deep,
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide.

Shepherd of my soul Oh You have made me whole,
Where’er I hear You call how my teaars flow.
How I feel your love how I want to serve
I gladly give my heart to You O Lord.

Be it in the flowing river or in the quiet night,
The Shepherd of my soul is by my side.
Should I face the stormy weather or the dangers of this world.
The Shepherd of my soul will be my guide.

 

I think the lyrics of the song was inspired by Psalm 23.

Today in the MRT, I was thinking about University of Melbourne and worries all flooding in again. God used a very interesting way to speak to me. There was this lady wearing a T-shirt with Psalm 23:4 printed on it. It reads,

“Even when I walk through the dark valley of death, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.” (NLT)

“I will not be afraid” stood out to me.¬†Interestingly, how this NLT version was different. Usually in¬†most other versions, it is “I fear no evil.”¬†If it was in the other versions, I would not be reminded of the verses God gave me when I first got the offer from University of Melbourne, which¬†I even blogged about it in “Don’t be afraid.” Why, how could I forget. Thank God for reminding me of the word He gave me last time. He truly touches me.

So once again, I dedicate myself to God that I will not be afraid and to follow wherever He leads me.

(bah)



Jehovah Jireh
21 May, 2009, 11:52 pm
Filed under: Autobiography, Music, Religion | Tags:

What a fun song! It popped into my head when my dad was telling me that if God really wants me to go overseas to do music, He will provide.

¬†The first line of the song¬†that appeared in my head was,¬†“My God shall supply all my needs, according to His riches¬†in glory.”

 Most probably that line was taken from Philippians 4:19

“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”¬†

 



Don’t be afraid.
21 May, 2009, 12:11 am
Filed under: Autobiography, Education, Religion | Tags:

Looking back at my previous post, One Way, God has certainly brought me through an amazing journey. He instructed me through John 6:12 to apply for all the universities that I can and I obeyed. Now He has blessed me with so many openings. The universities I got are SMU SOSS, NUS FASS, NTU Psychology, and the one that I just received today is, University of Melbourne Bachelor of Music! Praise the Lord for blessing me with so many openings that I never thought that I would get.

Before the reply from the Music Degree, I was kind of settled with SMU SOSS but I did not have 100% peace of mind. SMU has been my dream school since 2006 and the reason of choosing her is because of the electives they have (ie. Music, Dance, Art), the seminary teaching style, the CCA – InDanCity, and the distance. The only thing I did not like is the fact that it is 40% project work based and looking back at the experience I have in JC1 with H1 Project Work, I am not very keen in doing projects regularly for the next four years. But then again, I thought that I should counter my fear and overcome it because project work is inevitably part of working life. If I do not counter it now, I will have to do in the future. So I was settled with SMU SOSS without a 100% peace of mind for some reason which I do not know of.

Then I got the acceptance from University of Melbourne today! I totally could not believe my eyes when I read the acceptance e-mail and had to read it a few times before it sank in. (Because University of Sydney Bachelor of Musicology rejected me yesterday so my hopes kind of went down slightly) However, I got to accept this offer by 31st of May and pay a deposit of AUD$10,000. Gosh. And I cannot accept until the scholarship accepts me which will only be in July! I need the financial aid because just tuition fees alone ranges from AUD$64k to AUD$74k. So I went to seek God and asked just cast my cares upon Him (what I learnt in the last mentoring session I had) Basically talk to God about my situation and asked Him for a direction. He told me “don’t be afraid” through Chris Tomlin’s “On Our Side” and Psalm 112.

The lyrics of the chorus goes:

If God is on our side
We won’t be afraid
Though the mountains may fall
And the sky will crumble
There ain’t nothin’ gonna stand in our way

Psalm 112:8 says:

His heart is established; he will not afraid, until he sees his desire upon his enemies. (NKJV)

His heart is steady; he will not be afraid, until he looks in triumph on his adversaries. (ESV)

Through this, I know I do not need to be afraid and just trust in the Lord. ūüėÄ

I am so excited to see what God has installed for me.



The Weather Must Be Crazy
23 April, 2009, 12:15 am
Filed under: Autobiography, Geography | Tags:

weather-2204092

 

 

¬†31¬įC at alost midnight?! How about daytime? Gosh, effects of global warming are starting to be so real.

 

And all of a sudden, there was a strong gush of wind at my house.
 

Time of Video: 11.32pm

 

 

 

 The weather is indeed crazy these few days.

 

Anyone care to tell me what is the scientific explanation?

 

Source: Yahoo! Weather

 

 

 



One Way
21 April, 2009, 3:50 pm
Filed under: Autobiography, Education

 

“…We live by faith and not by sight for You…”

 

My journey in this university applications has really been a rough one and I have learnt so much. Such as learning how to live by faith and not by sight as what the word of God says in 2 Corinthians 5:7.

We live by faith, not by sight.”

 

By sight, circumstances are definitely not in my way. I do not have the finances to support my Australia music education, my playing standards of the piano are not as great as others, no one in my family underwent the procedures of studying overseas before and therefore we are all new to it so there is a possiblity of leaving out some necessary step to be taken in the application procedures or miss certain important deadlines, and the list goes on.

 

However, by faith, God has given me the word ever since I was seeking Him about this situation in September or October last year during the ‘A’ level season. The word he gave me¬†is from John 6:12.

“…Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.”

At that moment, I was like “God, what are you trying to tell me??? Am I spending to much and I should save and not waste anything?” I read it literally. I did not hear from God about that verse again until March this year. John 6:12 is actually taken from the passage when Jesus fed the 5000.

 

This is a film that tells the story of Jesus feeding the 5000

 

 

So what I heard from God is that since He has multiplied my grades (my midyear results was SSSUU and prelim results was¬†SESUU and finally ‘A’s was BCBBB!), I should not let any application be wasted and just apply. So it was a green light to apply to¬†Australia music. But I thought, probably I am reading out of context so I dismissed that.

 

However, during one of the week, Jessica & Jeanette (at different times) told me to apply.

Jessica: (the more practical thinking) I should just apply and not live my life wondering if could have got in or not.

Jeanette: I should not limit God and just apply whatever I can, then just leave to God to open whatever doors that He wants to.

So feeling quite conviced to apply yet hesitant because by sight, conditions seem quite difficult, God gave me James 1 as encouragement. Perseverance was the key.

“…Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him…”

This was again confirmed by Weijie when he told me to persevere when we were talking about my application to overseas Music. (that was before I told him God spoke to me about perseverance too)¬†As soon as he said that I was like, that¬†is what God is telling me too! Immediately he said, “James 1”.¬†I was completely stunned and was so glad to have the confirmation.

 

However, in the journey of application, I was still down at times and felt like disobeying God and not apply. I believe the devil was rattling in my ear to take the easier way out and give up on applying so that I will disobey God. Thank God for His word, He gave me Romans 5:1-11.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

 6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

¬†9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

In summary, the gist of the scripture was, with perseverance/endurance comes character/approval from God, with character/approval from God comes hope. That encouraged me once again.

 

After few weeks later, I was discouraged again. I was crying out to God because I felt so helpless and did not know what to do because at the time the thought of applying is like an endless pursuit. Emotions were getting over me (that is another way the devil stops you from obeying God) And the God that never fails gave me another word once again, also from the story of Jesus feeding the 5000, but this time it is from Matthew 14:18.

“Bring them here to me,” he (Jesus) said.

Such little words that carry such volume. Immediately, I felt so comforted.

 

Guess what happens next? Yes, I was discouraged AGAIN. That was just last week. God used the people around me once again. Minsheng (who is currently studying in Australia) suddenly had to be back in Singapore¬†for an¬†interview¬†at¬†NUS Medicine. (So happy for Thea!) Those who know him will know how persistent and determined he is. So he was so determined that I¬†should apply and his words of encouragement¬†simply¬†woke me up from my¬†contemplation to apply. He said stuff like he’ll even drive me to IDP so that I can¬†quickly apply¬†before the closing date¬†which is in¬†9 days time. Ultimately, I was so moved by God who¬†persistently placed Godly people and used His words from the bible to turn me back to the right direction whenever I am lost. Even when I have given up on myself, God did not give up on me.

 

Last night (guess what happened again), I was still unsure and did not have the desire to apply. The audition recording I did was still not up to my expectation and the best of so far was after 5 hours of playing. Imagine how tired I am already. That will greatly affect my quality of playing. It is so disgusting to submit a lousy recording. However God, unfailingly, gave me Matthew 14:18 again. The little words with great volume verse. I completely forgot about that verse and it was a reassurance and comfort to me.

 

This morning while doing my devotion after I woke up, I was still haunted with the thought of how gross my recording is.¬†God then reminded me of what Samuel heard from God during youth camp’s “prophesizing practicum” (Not the right term to use but I do know what other ways to put it.) Samuel heard from God “It’s okay.” and God is pleased with my service to Him through the keyboard. At that time the intital did not speak to me. Finally I saw how it spoke to me. That is, it is okay¬†no matter how gross my¬†recording seems to be. So I was just glad that I pleased God with my playing.

 

And¬†finally, I made my way to the office of IDP just now. The devil was still playing with my emotions and I wanted to stop my hands from filling up the application form and just walk out of the office. Unfortunately/Fortunately, I brought my mum and Michelle to accompany me so I did not want to waste their effort in making time for me and stay put. Application fees was at $200. No small amount. I did not want to waste money. That is another “by sight” factor that was stopping me. Thank God for His word that I was so sure that I got to apply no matter how wrong it seems by sight. (And thank God for¬†Ps Gary who was the guest speaker in last year’s youth camp¬†and he kept resounding¬†“The truth will set you free. What is the truth? Words found in the bible.” So simple and easy to discern what is right or wrong in the eyes of God.) So yes, after¬†ALL that hesistance and battling of emotions, I¬†finally¬†submitted the application forms.

 

As soon I got out of the building, I suddenly felt such peace of mind which I have  never felt ever since God convicted me to apply in March. It is when I realised all these while the devil has been trying to stop me from applying. So now that I have obeyed God, there is nothing the devil can do to reverse that action. I am so glad I obeyed and embarked on that one way to obedience that God instructed me to.

 

Right now, I have done what God called me to do and I will continue to wait upon Him for the next direction. He did not promise that I will get in but simply instructed me to just apply for whatever I can. So I am excited to see what God has installed for me! Even if I do not get into any Australia University and may seem illogical to even apply in the first place, I believe the lesson learnt from this process is far more valuable. Also the promise I will get is far greater, that is the promise of eternal life. As what He told me through Hebrews 11:39-40.

39These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. 40God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

 

Anyway, all the discouragements and emotion battles I had may seem nothing because it¬†is so easy to type them out. “I was discouraged.” But to go through it is definitely not as easy. So if anyone goes through such battling of emotions or experiencing¬†negative thoughts, I encourage that you will turn to the word of God. Do not have a bible? Use an online one at http://www.biblegateway.com/. God bless you.