lovely diacritic?

His plans for me just keeps unfolding and unfolding…
13 February, 2009, 2:13 am
Filed under: Music, Religion | Tags:

As she enters the doors of Singapore Dance Theatre’s dance studio, there were so many professional dancers warming up, getting ready for their lesson. When they were taught new exercises say, once or twice only, most of them could get it and execute it immediately with the right techniques and very coordinated as one. WOW. Overwhelmed by their talents and the very fact that she is standing in the same room as them, her hands simply had to turn icy cold. Such untimely situation when she was just about to audition for the position as a dance piano accompaniment.


What was about to happen was something that she was mentally unprepared for. Improvisations, with beautiful melody singing, and the precise mood, tempo, style and dynamics. These were the expectation of the instructor. But these were the things that she lacked. With only experience in improvisation gained through 5 years of serving the Lord on the keyboard, all she could play in her nervous state was basic rhythms and restrained melody line. Looking around, she saw the dancers smiling to one another, with faces reading “What difference in style (and experience).” But she is cool with that for she knows it herself too.


Yes, all said from the bottom of my heart.


I’m thankful for having such nice hosts at SDT – administrator, dance instructor and piano accompanist. I knew that the audition could have gone worse. Maybe the dance instructor and piano accompanist telling straight in my face that I sucked and to leave immediately so as not to waste anymore of their precious time. Yet I was given the opportunity to stay on for about an hour and a half to watch and learn how dance accompaniment can brighten the class for dancers. I felt like I have just attended a lesson on accompanist for free! Such a blessing!


What went through my mind while I was sitting there watching was the word that God given me on Monday and Tuesday during my morning devotion. Both word were speaking about the same thing but I just could not apply them in my life. That was when it clicked. The verses are:


Phillippians 2:4 (Monday)

4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.


Ephesians 4:1-16 (Tuesday)

1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism;6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. 7But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8This is why it[a] says: 
   “When he ascended on high, 
      he led captives in his train 
      and gave gifts to men.”[b] 

9(What does “he ascended” mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions[c]?10He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

 14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.


From these verses, the word “humility” was right in my face. Again, I asked God to reveal in what area that I need to especially humble myself. So today it all unfolded.


Having to lead a life being regarded as the piano or music person in my circle of friends or even at home, very seldom I get to be the one considered to be with the least experience in the area of music. Also, the past events of getting through auditions as though I was walking through door frames with no doors installed certianly built up my confidence over the years. Indeed I was spoilt by such a surrounding. If any rejection comes by, my over-sensitive character will overwhelm me and send me crying home.


So, the scenario at the dance studio mentioned above was definitely something new and shocking to me. When I knew I could not make it, inside of me just kept praying, asking God to just have a miracle and let me through. But I was asking with the wrong heart/purpose. Going back to the word, I knew such prayers will not be answered as my purpose was selfish. Recalling the word “humility”, I decided to practise what I learnt, as what God commanded in Phillippians 4:9,

“9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

I decided not to be prideful and to be open to advices from the experienced ones around me. Like a spoilt child, I could have shown discontentment due to the rejection but I did not. I am glad I obeyed God because I learnt so much from just an audition.


Thereafter, the piano accompanist being so nice, introduced me to some other ballet schools that allowed me to gain experience as a dance accompanist. I just want to thank God for placing me in such an environment with nice people. (Despite having the Arts industry to be regarded as very competitive and filled with bitchy people fighting for opportunities) Really thank God for not a tiny bit of that.


Come to think of it again, (God’s plans seem to have an unending of unfoldings) back in 19th January, last month, (I recorded such stuff in my devotional book you see) as I was seeking the Lord on the music jobs that I want to take, He revealed to me that being so broken, ill-confident and not acknowledging the talent He has given to me (refer to previous post) I certainly will not be able to get any music jobs.


The phrase “When you’re not filled, you can’t spill” which also applies to the action of sharing with you (spilling) about this is due to the fact that I am filled by spending time with God daily.



Anyway, as soon as I posted that testimony of my deliverance from my Diploma dilemma (Yes, the previous post again. Go read it if you have not.), SDT called me in for audition. (People whom I have told them about the call  knew I was over the moon and wanted to scream at the caller because playing “rubbish” (my lingo for improvisation) on a piano as a job is so called my dream job.)  But if God calls me elsewhere I’ll go of course. And apart from that call, on that same day, Papa’s colleague wants to engage me as a piano teacher! Another job I wanted to take up during this break of mine. (Yes I posted advertisements around my block but no one responded) The special thing about this potential student is that she just want to try out piano despite having STRONG interest in it, and she is okay with NO long term attachement! EXACTLY what I wanted. Keen students with no long term attachement. What I wanted sounds illogical but MAN, I got it!


So I really really really want to thank God and can only do so this much by telling the world via the fastest and most accessible form of communication – the Internet. So glad I have God.


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